im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
