My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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