you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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