Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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