I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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