i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude i'm inner monologue high
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Randomize
