alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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