did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
