Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
