you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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porn star boner night. come get it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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