no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize