Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize