i don't like sucking hair
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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