Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize