Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
