I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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