Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
