i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
