It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
