and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
