she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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