they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
