Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
