my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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