Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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