i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize