put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
