sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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