woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
