You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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