she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
