our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
