and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
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