can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i think i just lost a toe
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize