Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
PANTIES FOUND
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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