She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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