It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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