you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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