Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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