hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
