Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
