Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
