I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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