I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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