This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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