He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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