well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
