How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
