my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
