yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
