Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Boobs are out for the taking
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
