This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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