he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
