you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
