I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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