I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
